We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
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