i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
My pussy is not your playground.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
Randomize
