So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
Randomize
