nutella sex= disaster
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
