I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Randomize
