New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
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