never play flip cup with pint glasses
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
Randomize
