I'm lost and stupid without you.
I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
I left my keys in the garlic bread freezer in Publix.
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
Randomize
