I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
Randomize
