Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
There's always time for handjobs
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
