Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
you win again, gameday.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
