He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
Randomize
