Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
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as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
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