I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
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