That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.