I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball