That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
25 Women On How They Let Their Oblivious Partners Know They Want To Bone
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
Tumblr User Tells Story About A ‘Demon Gets Adopted By A Grandma’& It Needs To Be A F**king Movie
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not