Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
It's never too late to be topless.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Randomize
