Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
Dear sober self: your car keys are in the glove compartment, your car is outside the church. I hope you're reading this from your own bed instead of someone else's.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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