some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
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