Dude, I just rear-ended a cab
Are you drunk?
A little...yes
Run!
Terrible brother advice.
ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
