dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
Randomize
