we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
I'm gonna fight the coyote
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
