spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
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