Bisexual people are plain selfish.
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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