I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
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