Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Randomize
