he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
I stole a fireplace last night.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
Randomize
