I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
splinters make it hard to masturbate
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
Randomize
