I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
Randomize