No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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