Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
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