The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
Your tits are I can't wait for
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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