Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
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