I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
I said "one day" and that day is not today
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
