Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Randomize
