do herpes really smell.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
Randomize
