im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
It's official drugs can't kill me
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize