i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
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