May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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