he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
