And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
Randomize
