Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
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That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
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250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
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