Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
Randomize
