i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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