apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
Randomize
