You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
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