Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
I need to align my fucking chakras
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
Randomize
