Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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