Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
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