I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
