but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
