Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
Randomize
