I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
Randomize
