hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
Randomize
