i'm stoned. there's a jazz trio playing outside across the street...scared that mike myers will appear & start yelling 'woman...WHOA MAN. WHOOOA MAN.' i'm snapping my fingers.
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
I currently don't understand fingers.
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