Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
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