i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Randomize
