our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
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