no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize