i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Randomize
