oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
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