i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Randomize
