I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
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