My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
