I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
