chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
Randomize
