I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
