Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
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